Moving on...

I suppose it is time for me to do another post here. I guess I'd been hoping for a few more responses regarding my other, new blog (it's not too late if you're interested reading it- just shoot me an e-mail or mention it in your comments!). But, c'est la vie... on with the post.

As many of you know, this has been a tough year for me, teaching-wise AND other-wise. But I suppose it has been good in the sense that I have been learning a lot about myself, my goals, my desires both personal and professional... It's funny- I have wanted to be a teacher for so long (read: since about junior high age) that over the years, I just took it for granted that it is what I would do with my life. I never really thought about other options (or, when I did, I ended up dismissing them for various reason). I thought I was prepared; I thought I knew what I was getting into.

What I didn't expect was how all this stuff would make me feel.

I guess I expected to feel more rewarded for my efforts. I guess I expected to feel more small (or large) moments of success. I guess I expected to feel like this is something I am capable of doing.

This year, I have felt those things almost never.

As mentioned before, I'm not giving up on teaching entirely...yet. After all, I still *love* teaching my Valiant 8/9s! They are a fun (sometimes crazy/hyper) bunch of kids. I've enjoyed my calling as a Primary teacher so much this past month. I've always enjoyed my callings as a teacher in Sunday School or Relief Society. Clearly, there is a lot about teaching I enjoy. But this year has taught me more not just about thinking outside the box, but actually looking outside the box.

Here is what I've concluded:
1) I don't think I'm designed for the traditional classroom setting. I'd still like to try it in a different district (just in case), but I just don't think that I do my best work there. Because besides discipline, some of my biggest stresses are the lesson planning and the grading, and those are things that would exist no matter what school district I taught in. I just don't think I'm mentally/emotionally equipped for all the time/stress that those things entail.

2) It's time to go back to school (i.e. grad school). But not for an education degree. I've decided to obtain a Master's of Library Science (or similar degree, depending on which school I end up going to). I love libraries and the type of organization there (perhaps that is shocking to anyone that has seen my bedroom, but believe it or not, I am over-organized with some things, books and alphabetizing and categorizing being some of those things...). I could see myself loving a library-related job well into retirement age. And if I can't find a position within a school library, it gives me marketability in the public sector.

I remember reading once in a Readers' Digest, "Money is the fringe benefit of a job you like." I've tried to hold to that over the years. I am one who feels that I have to be able to enjoy what I do in some capacity. Right now, there is very little that I enjoy about teaching in IPS, which is why I'm out after this year. I feel I would very much enjoy almost any librarian-type position, though. Hence the decision to move in that direction.

Now I just need to figure out where to go.

Any suggestions?

Experiment

I know, it has been awhile. However, those of you who have read my last post, you may at least have an idea why it has been so long. Still. a friend recently mentioned that in order for her to blog-stalk me, she'd need a new post to work with (Thanks, Dedra, for the nice kick in the pants!). And since I promised to have a new one by the end of this weekend, here I am, Sunday afternoon, trying to get this done (ever the procrastinator).

First, as a brief follow-up to the vented frustrations of the previous post, I wanted to say that right before Thanksgiving break, I had several students give me thank-you cards, expressing their appreciation for the teaching I attempt to do every day. A couple of girls even went so far as to make an over-sized card out of fluorescent poster board to give to me (as seen below).

While I realize that most of these cards were given because another teacher had them make cards in her first period class, I was still touched by the sincerity of students giving them. So, while my decision has not changed, it is nice to know that at least some students care.

(I still am not looking forward to going back to school tomorrow, though.)

So. Back to the main purpose of this post. Though I thought about doing one about the recently passed holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's), I just don't know what I'd actually say. They were good. I loved getting to spend time with my family. We had fun, despite illnesses going around.

But I wanted to start the New Year with an experiment. It is one that some of my siblings have tried; I don't know how successful they've been, but I wanted to try it, nonetheless. I am talking about attempting a writing blog- a blog where I share some of the specks of lint falling out of my brain from time to time. I have always been hesitant to share my writing with others for kind-of weird and obscure reasons, but I'm trying to overcome that because I'm finally feeling like I'd like some kind of feedback to the things I've written and will yet write. Yeah, I can sort-of edit my own writing, but I don't exactly have an objective point of view.

That is where you come in. I'm not saying you have to be objective. I'm just asking for thoughts other than my own to help me shape some of these ideas. I'm a little nervous. It's possible no one will bother reading it and/or commenting. But I'm willing to at least give it a try. If nothing else, I'm hoping this will help stimulate my desire to write, a desire that hasn't been as strong amidst the frustrations of this school year.

So. Because I don't want just anyone to be able to read it (yeah, I'm weird like that), I have decided to make this an invitation-only blog. Thus. If you are interested at all in reading it, please shoot me an e-mail (or let me know in the comments if you don't have my e-mail address) and I will work on sending you an invitation to view the blog. (I may send you one anyway, even if you don't request an invitation, but please do not feel obligated to accept. If you don't want to accept the invitation, though, please let me know so I don't just keep re-sending it because I thought you overlooked it.)

I think that's all I have for now. I think.

Happy New Year. Welcome, 2011.