I suppose it is time for me to do another post here. I guess I'd been hoping for a few more responses regarding my other, new blog (it's not too late if you're interested reading it- just shoot me an e-mail or mention it in your comments!). But, c'est la vie... on with the post.
As many of you know, this has been a tough year for me, teaching-wise AND other-wise. But I suppose it has been good in the sense that I have been learning a lot about myself, my goals, my desires both personal and professional... It's funny- I have wanted to be a teacher for so long (read: since about junior high age) that over the years, I just took it for granted that it is what I would do with my life. I never really thought about other options (or, when I did, I ended up dismissing them for various reason). I thought I was prepared; I thought I knew what I was getting into.
What I didn't expect was how all this stuff would make me feel.
I guess I expected to feel more rewarded for my efforts. I guess I expected to feel more small (or large) moments of success. I guess I expected to feel like this is something I am capable of doing.
This year, I have felt those things almost never.
As mentioned before, I'm not giving up on teaching entirely...yet. After all, I still *love* teaching my Valiant 8/9s! They are a fun (sometimes crazy/hyper) bunch of kids. I've enjoyed my calling as a Primary teacher so much this past month. I've always enjoyed my callings as a teacher in Sunday School or Relief Society. Clearly, there is a lot about teaching I enjoy. But this year has taught me more not just about thinking outside the box, but actually looking outside the box.
Here is what I've concluded:
1) I don't think I'm designed for the traditional classroom setting. I'd still like to try it in a different district (just in case), but I just don't think that I do my best work there. Because besides discipline, some of my biggest stresses are the lesson planning and the grading, and those are things that would exist no matter what school district I taught in. I just don't think I'm mentally/emotionally equipped for all the time/stress that those things entail.
2) It's time to go back to school (i.e. grad school). But not for an education degree. I've decided to obtain a Master's of Library Science (or similar degree, depending on which school I end up going to). I love libraries and the type of organization there (perhaps that is shocking to anyone that has seen my bedroom, but believe it or not, I am over-organized with some things, books and alphabetizing and categorizing being some of those things...). I could see myself loving a library-related job well into retirement age. And if I can't find a position within a school library, it gives me marketability in the public sector.
I remember reading once in a Readers' Digest, "Money is the fringe benefit of a job you like." I've tried to hold to that over the years. I am one who feels that I have to be able to enjoy what I do in some capacity. Right now, there is very little that I enjoy about teaching in IPS, which is why I'm out after this year. I feel I would very much enjoy almost any librarian-type position, though. Hence the decision to move in that direction.
Now I just need to figure out where to go.